It was time to share this with my sister.
I have always been very protective of my little sister. Maybe because I am older than her but also because I have this instinct in me to always protect and come to the rescue of those who are vulnerable and in need.
When the phone rings those days, I get this pinch in my stomach, hoping that it is NOT a phone call from the rehab centre. This time the number displayed was indeed from them.
It was the centre manager. She had never called before. Thank God she was not calling to give us any bad news. She was calling regarding my request to have mum at home for Christmas.
Communication had been confusing recently. The social worker had called me to say that mum was transferred to the retirement home in a week. We then had a meeting with the staff from that retirement home and they said that nothing was settled as for the date of the transfer. Then the secretary had called me to ask me to send urgently the paperwork for admission in the retirement home because it was next week. At that point I exploded and wanted to speak to someone who actually knew what was planned for mum! That's how I got the manager calling me.
She spoke for a while, explaining in details everything that had happened from the beginning of my mum's admission at the rehab center. Finally someone was kind and patient enough to tell us what was going on behind the scene.Finally someone who treated our family like human beings and understood how distressful it is to leave a family member in a place where we do not see her and we don't get informed enough to follow what is happening.
She drop the bomb...After many consultations with all the staff, it was decided that my mother would not need to stay in intense rehab. They considered that her chance to recuperate were too slim, that it was too late...The entry date to the retirement home depended on us and how quickly we would gather all the documents to pay for the admission. An appointment was made to organise the paperwork and that was that...
I hang up the phone and felt like in a bad dream where someone lets you know that your worst fears have just crystalized right here and there...
I always communicate everything to my sister. Right after that conversation, I called her to let her know about the situation. I knew it would be hard but there was no way around it. I kept my cool and simply stated the facts.
Of course it was a shock for her and it was hard because she was like my father, still hoping that mum would come home and resume her normal life at some point. As for me, I was prepared. My own shock had already happened, when I found out how mum was really feeling through a medium that got in touch with her spirit.
It was hard to break this kind of news to my sister on the phone. She was so far away and I could not be there to hold her and be a shoulder she could cry on. I could feel her pain in her tears and it made me cry too. She also reacted like I did the first time, feeling angry and nearly resentful at our mother. How could she do this to us? How could she abandon us and now even give up?What was the point of doing all this for her until now then?
That is when I decided to send her the recording of the session I had with the medium so that she could understand where mum was at in her life at this point. I warned her it would not be easy to hear. Hearing from the Higher Self of my mother, revealing what she had been feeling all this time, not sharing but brewing deep inside her until the last drop and she just had enough...
This changes everything...I ordered an ambulance to pick mum up for Christmas and we will see her at home maybe one last time with all of us together like we have never been. We will have to be prepared...
Even though the turn of events is not what we wanted, even if we wish our mum would always be here for us, we have to be here for her now.What we can do for her is give her back all she has done for us. It is important that we do not beat ourselves up in front of her by thinking of all the things we could have done, all the things we now feel we did wrong... That would only hurt her. She is not in that place of stirring the past anymore. She would not be able to reply and that would frustrate her and make her sad to know that we have not accepted her state.
If she is happy like this, the least we can do in order to honour her life and thank her for all she has done for us, is to just be with her and “show her a good time" when she comes home for that day. We will take it upon ourselves to do as if we knew nothing of all this. She deserves that from us.
My sister and I now understand that wanting her to come back in a place where she was not happy would be selfish...The tears we shared on the phone were for us. Our mother is still well and alive but at least we are prepared psychologically for the worst. In fact we should celebrate that she wants to leave this “dreamlife” that his our experience on Earth as she will then go back to her true home, to the light and to a happier state.
We will just have to keep on living and celebrating life like she would want us to...
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