Chapter 41 – Hanging by a thread

Stratagems have been one of my forte except when…

The trouble with putting a plan together to achieve a certain result is that I need, at some point, to depend on other people’s free will to get there. I have been doing reading for people for a few years now. When the question is around a relationship and making a decision for the future of that relationship, I always have to remind people that they cannot influence the free will of their partner or potential partner. This is where the power of manifestation falls short.

We are here to exercise our free will, not to control and manipulate others but to let them free to choose which direction they want to take in their life too.

Here we are then…I have been dreaming of my mother again, walking and talking. Dreams are tricky though as there are many types. Is my dreaming of her being independent again a strong unconscious desire of mine, a deep desire to keep her among us or is it a premonition of what could happen?

I know of many miracle stories of men and women who have recovered from even deeper paralysis and where able to return to a fully functioning body. I know of advance technologies, some that are available to the public, some that are still kept in the dark for now by the authorities and some that are readily applicable if working at the energetic level and with the help of the invisible realm and our galactic brothers and sisters. I know there are possibilities but right now, I feel angry.

I know that everything always happens for a reason of course, but I am a rebel inside and when I see what I consider an injustice, I do not like to just sit there and do nothing about it, if I can help it.

I am angry at the hospital that kept my mother for two months and didn’t have a system in place to help her right away with her muscles and her speech. The right staffs were not there. Meanwhile, her muscles were atrophying and no-one was there to help her recover speech from the beginning either.

I got some hope when she was transferred to a rehabilitation centre. I thought she would get intense care, daily physio work and a dedicated speech therapist. Of course she is getting this, but maybe not in the intensity and frequency needed to really help her progress.

Yesterday we visited the retirement home that was suggested by the staff to place her after her “stay” at the rehab centre. I cannot help but translate this into “well anyways, she will not recover, so you may as well ensure that she has a place to stay when she leaves rehab.”

The place isn’t that bad, it is well decorated now for Christmas. We are in the middle of the darkest days of the year so the first impression I got was that it was dark. In the summer it would be nice as summers in Provence tend to be way too hot and that place would be cooler then. Thinking this makes me depressed. Does this means this is her new home? The bedroom is not homey at all, it would be shared with a stranger and honestly looks worse than the one she had at the hospital.

It is in my nature to try to improve or to fix things when I see something wrong. That is when my stratagem thinking process enters in action…

During our visit, the staff went to get mum so she could see her potential room and we were able to see her for five minutes –woohoo -an extra five minutes in the week next to the meager 30 minutes we are allowed. I felt that behind her smile, she was not happy about the room. I don’t know, maybe I was projecting my own dismay on her, but still, I couldn’t help expressing that to her “I know mum it’s not ideal and trust me, I will do all I can to make sure this is only a temporary solution”.

Then, her physio came in the room during our visit - A frail young woman, who seemed very nice. We had never met her so I thought this was the perfect opportunity to ask her some news since we never get any report… What I felt behind her words was “Oh you know, it doesn’t look promising at all”...

I looked outside the room, a view to the living space – it was lunch time – and I could not imagine my mother in the middle of all these other wheelchairs, grey hair and pulled down old faces…

Having seen where she could be living next, I was even more determined to do something to help her get out of there and back home. Here is where it gets complicated and where my free will might interfere with that of others…

My plan would require the contribution of many participants. I would need the free will of an organism to arrange hospitalization at home for mum, the staff to adapt our home design and some care staff to come to our house to give her the therapy she needs. The current medical staff would have to agree that mum is ready to leave. My father would have to be capable and in agreement. He would need to prove to my mum that he can treat her better. Seeing the change in her husband and the potential for a different and better future, my mother could get motivated to return home.

This is where my plan ends. It is still all in her hands. If she doesn’t find the motivation in her to recover, all else is useless and a waste of time. No matter how much my father, my sister and I desire her to come back to her normal Self, she has her free will and for now, it seems she is sticking to her decision to carry on her extended “holiday”.