This was one of the hardest days of my life...
The first time I visited my mother at the hospital after her stroke was one of the hardest days of my life...
She was lying down, head thrown back on the pillow. Half her face was pulled down. She did not move except her left hand. Her eyes were slightly open. She recognized me and grabbed my hand very tightly.
I am usually very positive for others but this time and the next 4 or 5 times I went to visit her, no matter how hard I tried to keep it together in front of her, I cried… I felt bad because of course then she started crying too.My mother was always active, doing something in the house, going out for walks by the nearby canal, or wherever she could find a bit of nature, picking up flowers, fruits and plants to prepare jams or some healthy herbal teas for the winter.
From one day to the next she finds herself lying down like a vegetable. This is very hard for her I am sure. At the same time, it feels that her body found that way to force her to take a rest in her life.
Something similar happened to me two years ago, although not in a manner as extreme as this. I was living in Vancouver on the west coast of Canada and my life was – as usual for me – very active. In fact I was on the go all the time nearly every day. Just before I moved to Salt Spring island, a small island between Vancouver and Vancouver Island, I had an accident and my right upper arm became paralysed. It remained like this for nearly a year until I went to see a psychic who said that, at a higher level, I had asked for an angel to hold me tight from behind, thus blocking movement in my arm. That day I asked the angel to leave and straight away the paralysis I had felt for months and spent countless visits to doctors and specialists to try to sort out, vanished… This was to force me to calm down and relax a little.
This is what I tell my mum. Enjoy your time here, after serving your husband and children for so many years, you deserve a rest and you deserve to be looked after for a change.
My mum is very sensitive and is not the kind to take some things lightly. She can get stressed easily and has a hard time relaxing. Even now when I give her a massage I have to repeat many times “Relax mum” as she offers me her left hand or left foot. Her limbs are so tense.
I tell her that this time is also about learning to relax.
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